The beginning of a new year can spark a deep desire for change, even in the midst of a global pandemic. While the calendar days and months have mostly ceased to mean anything, the collective feeling of stuck-ness pushes us to do something differently, to reconnect with the parts of us that want to transform, to bloom, to grow. We've been dealing with this messy Time of Uncertainty the best that we can, but you may be wondering if there's a better way than drowning your anxiety in wine with increasing frequency, only to rejoin the world each morning more anxious than ever. Maybe you're thinking about Dry January.
Dry January is a movement in which people take a break from drinking for a month (other versions include Sober October, No Booze November, etc). Some participants are concerned about their drinking habits, while others are looking to eat healthier, train for an athletic event, or address their mental health challenges. Some are looking to stop drinking completely, while others are just curious about a few weeks without alcohol. There are a thousand reasons to give it a try, including just changing things up for a little bit. I've heard from a lot of people who are worried that they've been pandemic coping with drinking, which makes total sense to me. Doing something like Dry January is a great way to shift your habits, because you can connect with people locally and globally who are also going through the trials and tribulations of being sober.
If you're doing Dry January, thinking about taking a break from booze, or just interested in stories of addiction and recovery, I highly suggest diving into some books. These memoirs and stories, known as "quit lit", are filled with some of the most insightful, outrageous and memorable tales on the planet. I have rarely laughed as hard, or felt as deeply moved. It's an honour to share people's darkest memories, a pleasure to appreciate their absurd comedy, and a real gift to see yourself and your experiences reflected in their words. There's also something out there for everyone, as of course these issues affect everyone, and the authors come from a variety of backgrounds, speaking with very different voices. While the stories do share similarities (and we do love a redemption narrative!), the speakers are unique.
This is my list of 13 memoirs that I read, and loved, when re-evaluating my own relationship with alcohol. Books are safe to consume voraciously, they're a good alternative for your hands and your mind, and it's pretty hard to read when drunk, anyways. I hope you find my mini-reviews helpful on your dry journey, and please feel free to suggest any other recovery reads below!
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The COEX library in Gangnam, Seoul.
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1. This Naked Mind (Annie Grace)- This is probably the first book that I would recommend to anyone who is trying to stop drinking. It is also really great for people who want to moderate their drinking, as Annie really tackles the topic of moderation. Her approach relies heavily on brain science and psychology, which she makes easy to understand without simplifying. Her research gives you a refreshing perspective on what alcohol is doing in your brain and body, and a practical yet really hopeful message about freedom from alcohol. This Naked Mind podcast is also a great listen.
2. Rewired (Erica Speigelman)- This is the book I’m currently reading about addiction. I’m not finished yet, but it’s already a favourite. Rather than going through the narrative of addiction, Rewired presents a roadmap for living your life in recovery. Chapters include ‘Authenticity’, ‘Honesty’, and ‘Healthy Relationships’ among others. Reading other people’s stories has been a huge part of my process, but it is so awesome to read about moving forward and living a full, beautiful life. Highly recommend to anyone who is feeling a bit lost and trying to (re)connect with themselves after the alienation of addiction or trauma.
3. Sober Curious (Ruby Warrington)- This was one of the first books I read when I was trying to stop drinking. This is a very accessible read which presents life without alcohol as a bold choice and pathway to a better, brighter life. The ‘sober curious’ or ‘new sobriety’ movement is overall very focused on the idea of personal choice, positivity around sobriety, and creating alternative alcohol-free options and communities (besides AA). This is a great read for anyone who’s beginning to have those “what if?” thoughts about changing their relationship to alcohol.
4. The Recovering: Intoxication and it’s Aftermath (Leslie Jamison)- This is a truly stunning and deep drinking memoir mixed with literary and biographical analysis of the lives of alcoholic writers. Jamison is an academic writer who struggles with her own alcohol addiction and the legacy of alcoholic artists who have inspired her. Her book is a long read spanning many years of her life, and also addresses the challenges of growing up, romantic and sexual relationships and finding yourself. Poetic, heartful and deeply honest writing. I recommend this to anyone who loves literature, especially if you studied literature in school.
5. In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts (Dr. Gabor Mate)- I saw this book referenced a lot in other addiction writing, so I decided to give it a try, and I would recommend it to anyone who is interested in addiction (personally, professionally, in any way really). It is mostly an academic read (but very readable for a general audience). Dr. Mate worked directly with people struggling with homelessness and addiction for many years, and has a very knowledgeable and compassionate approach towards addiction. The book is mostly about the relationship between trauma and addiction, which provides a very valuable perspective. As a content warning he does also discuss his own shopping addiction, which some people perceive as sort of trivial, but I think he makes a great case for a spectrum of addictive behaviours and addiction as a social and cultural issue as well as a personal one.
6. Drink (Ann Dowsett Johnson)- A recovering alcoholic and academic, Johnson faced her issues with alcohol as an adult woman and started researching the relationship between women and drinking in North American society. The result is this excellent book that delves deep into the toxic culture of women’s drinking. This book gave me a lot of ‘so true!!’ moments, such as when she’s describing University frosh drinking (if you know, you know). Would recommend to anyone interested in gender and sociology as it relates to alcohol.
7. Drinking, a Love Story (Caroline Knapp)- This is my favourite drinking memoir. It was written in 1996, which is almost unbelievable because it feels so current (a tale as old as time I guess haha). A very poetic read that really gets to the heart of alcohol as a toxic partner in a dysfunctional relationship. Successful and functional on the outside, Knapp struggles with booze for two decades before getting sober. Recommend for those of us who identify with being ‘high functioning’ but feeling a mess inside.
8. Dry, a memoir (Augusten Burroughs)- I really, really enjoyed this memoir by Burroughs (of ‘Running with Scissors’ fame). Following a very abusive childhood, Burroughs managed to become extremely successful in advertising, but struggled with substance abuse. He tells his story with an incredible amount of humour and straightforwardness. It is really funny and really good. Definitely recommend for anyone who sometimes needs to laugh at the absurd tragedy of addiction.
9. Blackout- Remembering the Things I Drank to Forget (Sarah Hepola)- This is a beautiful, heartbreaking, well written memoir about a journalist’s binging and blackouts. Heavy on the drinking stories. The concept of a memoir about forgotten time is very poignant, and I would recommend this one to those of us who feel we lost a lot in those gaps.
10. Recovery, Freedom from our Addictions (Russell Brand)- This well-known memoir from actor Russell Brand is an absolutely hilarious and super honest take on the 12 steps. Brand puts the steps in extremely frank language (the first step, for example, he translates as “Are you a bit fucked?”). This one is no nonsense, laugh out loud on the subway, funny because it’s true reading. I also think it may be more relatable for men than many of the memoirs I read. Brand additionally discusses drug and sex addiction.
11. Girl Walks Out of a Bar (Lisa F. Smith)- This memoir chronicles the drug and alcohol addiction of Smith, a super ‘high functioning’, successful corporate lawyer. Her writing is witty and razor sharp. A great read to demonstrate that no matter how together someone seems to have it, underneath they might be in severe pain. I like her instagram account as well.
12. A Happier Hour (Rebecca Weller)- This memoir chronicles Weller’s journey to sobriety and away from the 'wine witch' in her head. Weller is a wellness coach, and I would recommend this to women interested in wellness and nutrition as well as addiction. A lighter and quicker read than many here.
13. My Fair Junkie (Amy Dresner)- Another amazingly genuine and darkly comic memoir, this book describes Dresner’s life with her addictions (alcohol, drugs, sex and toxic relationships), as well as her many attempts to get sober. Her book is incredibly inspiring, especially for people who have struggled with drug addiction, and it’s also really, really funny.
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